illuminate a path

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About Me

When I had built up a respectable Tumblr, I was going to show it to him. He was an artist, so I was always nervous about showing him any even vaguely artistic pursuit. Not that he was ever harsh with me. On the contrary, he was supportive, creative, kind, and often even impressed. I wanted this to be something, a window into me, to bring him even closer. To start new conversations over Chinese food where we sit and talk for hours and marvel at how much we click. To hear him make that “god I love you so much” squee sound. But that’s all gone now. He’s gone now. So now I leave little bits of interesting at his grave and try to survive in a world without Dave.
I'm trying to make an "about me" section, try linnipoo.tumblr.com/aboutme

Blogs I follow:

Theme by: Miguel

  1. (Source: anditslove)

    2. 299 Notes
    Reblogged: anditslove

  2. "One day you will wake up and it will mean something. I promise."

    - A very wise friend I call “Prime”
    3. 5 Notes
  3. I’m kind of resigned to this.

    I’m kind of resigned to this.

    (Source: afterallthis-time)

    4. 5350 Notes
    Reblogged: mermaidpoetry
  4. fuckyeahhappy: inappropriatesidekick:weamercury: by danyelll.

    fuckyeahhappy:

    inappropriatesidekick:weamercury: by danyelll.

    5. 2202 Notes
    Reblogged: fuckyeahhappy

  5. Sometimes the damage is closer to the surface than I would like it to be.

    But sometimes it isn’t. I’m having an “Isn’t” moment. It’s nice, though I feel guilty for it. It’s coming up on a year.

    A YEAR.

    I don’t know what that signifies, in terms of my own process. Where am I? Where do I want to be? Where do I deserve to be.

    I feel like my dreams are always offering solace my waking mind refuses to accept. This last one was different. It wasn’t just an “It’s ok” kind of dream. I always pass those off as a desperate attempt by my psyche to worm out of a well deserved punishment. No, in this one I had to choose between Rex suffering or me, and I chose me. I put a bullet between the eyes of a dog I loved more than life, and it didn’t matter that I know he’s been dead 7 months, what mattered was that he die quickly, painlessly, before he realized he was going to. Before exhaustion and fear and suffering haunted those big trusting eyes.

    And the person who came to collect me wasn’t Dave… or was he? Who said he had to look like Dave? The man looked at me the way Dave used to when I was so far down on myself it was about to make him cry. But so full of hope, like one day I would see me the way he does, everything would be alright. And he won’t begrudge the time it took to get there either. Dave was really like that. He had that True Believer vibe, a purity that had shit to do with sex. The man in the dream really seemed like he had a point to get across. It’s probably a really healthy and constructive point.

    Fuck, though… I just miss him so much. 

  6. yewfy: Get out of my head, please.

    yewfy:

    Get out of my head, please.

    7. 1449 Notes
    Reblogged: bansheeprincess
  7. Holy shit that just happened.

    Holy shit that just happened.

    (Source: fullofwhitehotrage)

    8. 17 Notes
    Reblogged: fullofwhitehotrage
  8. viathevoid: ‘Don’t let the bad things spoil the good things.’ :’)

    viathevoid:

    ‘Don’t let the bad things spoil the good things.’ :’)

    9. 233 Notes
    Reblogged: bansheeprincess
  9. themannyinfection: This is for my friends that recently got a tumblr. Read it carefully so i dont have to keep reminding you but the face,twitter part pu~eta!

    themannyinfection:

    This is for my friends that recently got a tumblr. Read it carefully so i dont have to keep reminding you but the face,twitter part pu~eta!

    (Source: liveyourl1fe)

    10. 530 Notes
    Reblogged: bansheeprincess

  10. I know I haven’t been returning messages. I’m sorry. I really am trying not to be so fucked up.